The Drifter

Note: This entire post is not made by Decode Janice (wtf name is that anyway)

Hi there everyone, I'm Janice's guest for this blog post which I have to (was forced to) share with all of you! Let me introduce myself first - Most of you should know who am I since I'm probably the main antagonist of this blog. Don't believe it? Check out the photo below which you might recall from some older post, yup that's me.



Anyway lets just get to the point. So today I was outside shopping and walking around in the shopping mall with Janice and she received a sms. There was this ex-client of hers, and this ex-client had a friend named Jack, who was supposed to return some stuff back to her but in the end didn't because he was such a fussy sissy. So Jack sms'ed her and it went like this.


Jack: hey ger, hapi new wk w my mieay cheers! how r u lately? gettin prettier? hehe.. btw, may i hav ur frenster i facebk email id 2 add u now?
(wtf is hapi new wk w my mieay cheers? hello, earth to jack, beanstalk too high?)

Jack: hey ger, got my email request jz now? stil 2 bz 2 send me? o u r vy secretif 2 let ppl add u?
(eingrlish plzzzz n0 1337 t4lk plzzz)

Janice: yea. but i dono u wor.

Jack: huh? how cum u dun noe me? im jack la.. y so blur? u hav deleted my hp no so fast dy, izit? wat a pity im.. dun tel me tat u lost ur hp again wo.. rmb me now?

Janice: i never lost my hp. do u get wrong ppl? im janice phua. is it the janice u know?

Jack: aiyo for sure u r janice la.. how cld u afford 2 forget me at al even may name has been given? 2bad.. im lazy 2 elaborate dy.. jy view my profile 2recal me k? email?
(elaborate about what? your penis length? your profile's not worth shit)

Janice: seriously cant recall anything la sorry. how abt u give me ur add i go view?

Jack: gal owey forgetful.. in fact im on9 now.. tat is y i asked u 2gif yr email so tat i cld add u immediately.. it is much easier n faster rite? so shal i hav urs 1st?

Janice: u give first i back home add u

Jack: aiyo y so popomama 2 make evythg delayed? i hav 2 offline in a short while n hav 2 wait 4 otehr time 2 on9 again.. y dun u gif me convenience 2 add u 1st, agree?

As you can see this guy probably has no balls or something, and Janice, being such the nice and kind and get-bullied-all-the-time girl she was, replied nicely so I commanded her to ignore him, what a waste of time. It's also a miracle she managed to read all of those without a translator.

And his sms came to her phone again later in the night, as she told me.

Jack: hey janice, y stil diam diam? u realy cant let ppl add u n being mysteric at al? wat went wrong?
(you, sir, is what went wrong)

Seriously, something is wrong with this guy. I asked Janice to be funny with him but she can't, so I though I might as well take over. So I msged him using my phone.

Me: Janice here, changed my no. Maxis cheaper. U can stop asking already for my email if you give me yours first i'll consider thx

Jack: Huh? Changed 2 maxis? I tot ur previous no is oso maxis1? O u changed tat 012 2other telco dy? K la, y dun like tat, i gif my email n u oso 2 b fair 2 gif urs?

Me: Previous one wasn't my active one. Ei why u so funny one, i tot i said no. Are you a man?

Jack: 4sure im man.. tat is y i practised 'ladies 1st' philosophy.. clear? hehe.. tat is y i asked u 2 gif me email 2 add u 1st.. in fact, y u r so woli 2 let me add u 1st? u can jz reject me if u cant rmb o recal me once u view my profile n pic.. u got no loss at al rite?
(blood loss from the eyes, cant afford that)

Me: i dono why are u scared to give too? nvm anyway im kinda bored already. bye i guess.

Jack: y bored? i offered uy 2exchange email but u r 2insist on 2sided condition without any negotiation.. i nvr scare of lettin ppl 2add me coz no loss at al.. y u cant?

Me: conditions and negotiations? i think you stepped into the wrong meeting room, officer.

Jack: im nt officer, jz ordinary fren of u.. n askin ur email 2 add u is purely based on frenship sincerity instead of formality.. if u stil cant appreciate, im speechles

Me: thank god, was waitin for tat. Kbye.

Jack: waiting 4me 2 b speechles? reali so sampai hati 2 treat fren? last ques 2 u.. r u gona surfer fr any loss if ppl use ur email 2 add u on fs??? yes o no?
(I think I'll continue to surf the internet, but no I'm not a surfer, sorry.)

I was gonna reply "stop being so desperate, you fat nerd" so he could spend his night crying or something, but lil J stopped me lol well anyway I'm done with this jackass.



Someone introduce him to some adult dating sites or www.persianwifefinder.com please.