no it's not a ghost
it's 01/01/2009 and i'm rotting in my room. what a shitty begin? yes i think i am a rot girl, damn rot that kind. what the hell am i doing here while everyone is hanging around shopping malls, buying new clothes for coming CNY, chit-chatting, planning and busy for something else, showing plans, going to basketball, watching movies, eating big meals, travelling, setting goals and dreams for the brand new year, etc etc. and then me? janice phua? doing nothing. holy crap.
0712this is very hard.
but it's time to make such decision.
to calm down and think.
no tears but a bit of heartache?
i don't know. i just want to get over with it.
whether it is a happy or sad ending.
我在想 女人离不开不好的男人
是因为 她还爱着他?
不能没有他?
还是她习惯了他?
懒惰适应新的感情?
没有别的男人爱?
又或者是她太善良一直选择原谅他?
快乐是什么? 你知道吗? 你回答得到吗?
真正的快乐并不需要你一直拼命的去找寻
不需要任何目的 不带有任何心机
快乐就像我刚刚一个人坐在客厅吃着木瓜风扇在头上吹着微微的风日光灯不是很热的照在我的身上看着我最爱的星洲副刊听着弟弟的电脑播着的歌曲现在回到房间上我的网打我的网志看一下东西
快乐也像刚刚我的honey特地把我千呼万唤的hard disk远从selayang送到我的家门前顺便当埋我的exclusive technician帮我安装然后我很开心的看着extra的200GB插入我的宝贝电脑里再把我的宝贝drama collection移去那200GB里安心的筑起安乐窝
快乐其实很简单
简简单单没有任何的附加值 我的心充满欣喜
原来我也是可以这么快乐的 
i know what is my fatal weakness after 20 years of living
feel no passion and indifferent in everything
update (mr.bigH said i am so passionate in online and dating and idol drama wor
so i am NOT no passion and indifferent in everything
hmm is it? but still almost everything la teehee)
kind of serious matter isn't it
medicine can cure or not
sigh why so
may it be my childhood experience
or it just my natural instinct
Miscellaneous(4)